A Leaders Path to Self-Discovery

An executive contemplates whether to continue his entrepreneurial pursuits or go back to a successful Wall Street career.  A founding CEO realizes she must rely on untested relational skills to scale her growing technology firm.  An accomplished leader finds his chosen profession less and less engaging.

“Now What?!”

This question comes at us from many different angles.  The timing is never good.  And the question refuses to go away unanswered.

Solving for “Now What?!?” requires Self-Discovery.  We must be willing to dig into the depths of who we are and where we stand.  Introspection is scary stuff.  Examining the truth about our nature and character is risky.  We may not like what we see.  We may have to open old wounds.  The prospect of exposing our vulnerabilities or uncovering the roots of fears and insecurities can be daunting.

So why bother?

As our leadership challenges intensify, we have to summon more from within.  Additionally, market demands are changing.  The best young talent expects a deeper connection with their leaders. Authenticity and true transparency are necessary to head today’s more collaborative workplaces.  Before opening to others, we need to know our self.   

There are many means of self-examination.  An approach I recommend touches four key areas; your Inspiration, your Perspiration, Peace and Pursuit. From there, you can hone in on the big question: Who am I? 

Here are a series of questions in each segment to help you in the introspection process.

What inspires you? What ignites your passion most?  What are your primary drivers? If everything in life went according to your plan, where would you be in 10 years?  What would your life look like?

What are your biggest fears in life? What’s the root of those fears? What are your greatest insecurities? Uncertainties? Anxieties? What causes the most stress? Why? What vulnerability are you least comfortable exposing? To whom? Why?

What does ‘being at peace’ mean to you? How much do you want that? How does peace differ from happiness? What brings joy to you? What do you appreciate most in your life?  Which of your strengths or gifts are you most grateful?  What will make you truly content?

What are your greatest longings? Your highest ambitions? What achievements remain most alluring to you? Why? What will these deliver? What sacrifices must you make to get there? Why is that worth the pursuit?

We can examine "Who am I?" from multiple perspectives; Identification and Validation (see this blog).

For Identity - How do you define yourself? By career accomplishments? Professional expertise or title? Do you identify yourself as a Leader? Good spouse or parent? Community Activist? Is who you are today the legacy you aspire to? If not, who do you wish to become?

For Validation - Where do you stand? Have you made it? Do you count? Are you worthy? More importantly, who is measuring, what are the standards and how will you know when you've gotten there?

Self-Discovery requires rigorous thought.  These questions are not easy to answer. They need to be explored from multiple perspectives. The process can’t be rushed.

So what’s the best approach?  Block out some time alone.  Find a secluded place. Turn off your phone and emails.  Quiet all the voices in your head.  Let you mind be still.  Disengage. Then walk through the questions slowly and deliberately.  Write down your viewpoints no matter how outlandish or embarrassing.  The answers are for you.

When finished, a clearer picture emerges.  Our outlook will be refreshed.  A new sense of hope will arise.  With a broader perspective, some anxieties and fears will seem trivial.  Other dreams and desires will be vitally important.  We will chase fulfillment over achievement.  We will realize satisfaction is more rewarding than success.  We won’t settle for happiness when joy is possible.

With a deep understanding of who we are, we will lead with greater confidence and conviction.  We will see ourselves as catalysts not simply commanders.  We will inspire and enable.  We will appreciate the wisdom of investing in others rather than serving ourselves.

Most importantly, when we complete the journey of Self-Discovery, we will have clarity and focus on what matters most.

Have fun!!